I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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