I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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