Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
