Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
