but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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