If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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