My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize