Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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