he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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