Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
