Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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