Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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