He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
