so that wasnt chicken after all
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
