She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
