That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
