That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
