I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
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