he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Someone came in the potted fern
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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