just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
