im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize