You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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