Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
