you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
