He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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