I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
