I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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