Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
