I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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