Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize