she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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