I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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