when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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