you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
