i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
