is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
