some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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