can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
