i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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