I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
