I molested 6 butterflies tonight
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
