Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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