ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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