Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize