why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
