Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
