420 ftw
my mouth tastes like poor choices
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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