The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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