I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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