Whatcha textin bout Willis?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
