I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
