But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
