I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
