Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize