just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
