like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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