Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
