Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she woke up with a sticky ear
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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