Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
