the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
