youre lurking in front of me
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She told me I should be a condom model.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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