Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize