ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
