just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize