so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
