I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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