The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
