I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
