I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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