She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
