i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I love you.
Bad choice
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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